I am not good at expressing my feelings, nor am I any good at explaining myself, so hopefully this will make some sort of sense to you all.
I know I know people go on about how 'ohh you don't need to go on a diet', and 'oh my gosh your not fat!! why do you need to go on a diet?!?!?!?!?!' or its 'lol this biatch is looking for attention'
well think what you want of me, I am going on a diet, because I'M not happy with how I look and feel in my body.
I will tell you why [not like some of you will care] but its because I always look at girls and wish I looked like them, wether it be as skinny as them, or having their hair, teeth, eyes or whatever, I always find something in other people beautiful, I just can't however see it in myself.
I am sick to death of me being constantly unhappy with the way I look, and I am trying to love myself for who I am, but it just doesn't seem to be working.
I know I know I am being selfish, I should be greatfull for what I have and how I look and all that stuff, well I'm sorry for wanting to feel pretty, Is it really such a crime to be selfish about this one thing?
Its not like its a major diet, just you know healthy,and hopefully making me feel better about myself.
So this is me [the one with long brown hair....pulling a stupid face]
and yes like I said I have heard it all before, but I just don't feel happy at the moment.
It also doesn't help that the fact that a few years ago a guy I liked said I was fat and ugly, that memory is burned in my mind! damn it.
This is aina tanaka, I think she is so pretty! I would really like to have her figure. Shes a model from a japanese magazine called egg [I have these magazines imported from japan to me every month] and yes I think she is beautiful, as well as all the other girls from egg. The best thing about these models is that they don't starv themselves to death like the fashion models you get over here, they eat regulary, just not big portions and of helthy food, thats all I need to do [seems to work for them]
gah both of them are so pretty! it burns!
I was going to start my diet this weekend
however it was expo this weekend and we did do a STUPID amount of walking, so I had coffee coolers and frapechinos to keep me goings [ a bit of a downfall]
however we went out for food and I did get something that was [well seemed] rather healthy!
It tasted sooo nice! and smelt amazing as well, was so happy when it arrived, and yes I ate all of it, though I kind of coverd half of it in sweet and sour source [guess that was a bit of a downfall as well]
Did anyone notice the evil mushroom?
Evil mushroom!! either its evil or extremely happy that you are reading my blog.
So yea basicly I am starting my real healthyness tomorow, I will have a day or two where I eat some junk, you know I can't go cold turkey, also I have a love of cakes, I can't just completly leave them alone! but I also can't eat them every day....damn it.
I will be posting how the diet is going on here, like an update, of how I am trying to improve the way I look, and hopefully becoming happy with myself, I am just sick of looking in the mirror and being unhappy with my reflection, its time to take action instead of wishing!!
I will now end them blog with some purikura photos from the weekend.
Yes I know, my friends are damn sexy!